Hello, I’m a Stoic
Why I might be the most important person you meet this year.
Because I’m about to introduce you to a philosophy that holds the answer to whatever problem you're facing. No, I don’t think you should become a Stoic. But what it’s taught me has transformed my life and I’m confident it can do the same for you.
I’ve been practicing Stoicism for nearly a decade. The first few years were spent studying and pondering the words of every known Stoic in recorded history. The last few years have been a brutal, daily battle with my ego. I didn’t find Stoicism because I wanted a cool philosophy to quote. I found it because I was suicidal. Nine years ago, I was obese, isolated, and addicted to every legal pleasure I could afford. Depression had me by the throat and I knew I needed something real to get me out of it; something that could get me out of my own way. So, I dove headfirst into this ancient philosophy and it saved my life.
What are you talking about with all this Stoicism stuff?
I get it nearly every time I say I practice Stoicism.
Say what? Come again? Stoi-huh?
Two thousand years ago, different schools of thought claimed to have found the path to happiness for us all. Some believed it came from pleasure, power, or divine favor. The Stoics rejected it all and argued that we should live according to nature. What does that mean? I could spend four weeks breaking down the use and placement of those words in that sentence, but the short version is this: Live every moment in alignment with reality, reason, and virtue; not the made up comforts and illusions you let creep into your thoughts.
The Stoics believed human excellence was built on four pillars: Courage, Justice, Temperance, and Wisdom. These are the same virtues preached by priests, imams, philosophers, and rabbis for centuries; not because of tradition, but because without them, civilization collapses into weakness, self-indulgence, and chaos.
And looking around at 2025, the topic of holding civilization together seems like a good conversation to have.
Why You Should Care
Besides helping civilization stay productive and a good experiment, you need to be happy in this life if you’re going to give me and everyone else your greatest good. This philosophy provides the best road map to get there and it’s much more sustaining than any self-help, coaching, motivational speaker, or consultant you’re ever going to hear talk about this stuff. That’s why starting next week, I’m going to show you what it looks like to live as a Stoic in 2025 so I can show everyone how simple, easy, and awesome it is.
For years, I kept this journey private; only my wife, my therapist, and a small Stoicism group knew what my life looked like. That changes next week.
This isn't about selling you on Stoicism. It's about showing you what happens when you apply it. Whether you're a high-achiever looking for a resilience reboot or someone coming out of a dark place needing structure, these principles work. No cults. No pseudo-science. Just a philosophy that has outlived empires and continues to be used by some of the most disciplined, successful, and resilient people today.
But before we get into all that, I’d like to start with an explanation of each of the virtues and up first is courage. I don’t know about you, but lately, I’ve needed a hell of a lot of it.
What Courage Really Looks Like
Courage is a fickle motherfucker.
The dictionary defines courage as the ability to continue to act in the face of difficulty. I agree, but would add that if you remove ego, there is never difficulty, only a clear path towards the right thing. So how do you remove ego? You train.
Someone recently told me on a podcast that I remind them of David Goggins. That’s hilarious. I get it, though. When I start talking about shutting down your past with Stoicism and moving forward with vigor and passion, I can sound like him. But I’m far from Goggins. I don’t wake up every day with an unstoppable physical drive to chase pain or need it to silence my demons. The difference between us is I don’t fight my demons or treat them like they’re the source of my “bitchness.” I simply shut them up by understanding their noise isn’t real.
So, no, I don’t have the courage to wake up every day and put my body through extreme physical discomfort to prove I’m not a bitch like David Goggins does. I do put myself through physical discomfort, but it’s child’s play for me at this point. When you understand your body is not your mind and that your body will shut down long before your mind does, life becomes exceptionally easier to navigate through the unneeded noise. But here’s what my courage does allow me to do: develop unbelievable psychological and emotional endurance. And just like David Goggins has pushed himself further than every human on this planet alive right now, I’ve pushed myself further mentally and emotionally than most people ever will inside this philosophy.
How does that transition to courage? Let’s get real for a moment. Instead of asking what does courage feel like or where to get it, let’s talk about what failure looks like and how you think the opposite of courage is cowardice. You’re wrong. So was I until Stoicism showed me courage lies between the extremes of cowardice and recklessness.
To be courageous is to be in control of your emotions as you push through difficulty. Sure you can push through, but are you level-headed and able to take advantage of adversity when others around you may wilt?
The Courage to Restrain vs. The Courage to Act
For me, courage comes in two forms: Restraint and Action.
1. Restraint Means Controlling the Ego
Restraint is easier for me now, but it wasn’t always and I’m still failing daily every time I reach for my phone or mindless talk when words aren’t needed. I used to chase every vice, every comfort, and every pleasure until I learned a simple mantra: Check your objective. In answering that question I realized every time I wanted something, it was my ego asking for it and not my purpose. Learn to live serving your purpose and vices and comfort become a thing of the past.
When I was first getting my shit together, I needed constant reminders to stay away from what my ego wanted and to return to focused work ASAFP. At first, I used sticky notes and set hourly alarms on my phone. Then I asked my wife to check in on me. Nothing stuck.
So I tattooed it on my arm.
Alongside it? Two other reminders: “Ego is the enemy.” and “The obstacle is the way.”
When I want a drink, a distraction, or an indulgence, I ask myself two questions:
Do I need this, or do I want this?
Am I willing to do the right thing for me right now?
You already know the answer. The real question is: Are you honest enough to admit it?
2. Action: Doing the Hard Shit
Restraint is one thing. But taking action, pushing myself to do what’s uncomfortable, that’s still a fight.
I have a morning list that includes things like meditate, journal, floss, move my body under resistance, and take a cold shower every morning. I hate doing these things and I battle with myself everyday to get them completed before I start my workday.
Why? Because my life is too damn comfortable and if I go through the motions of life, I’ll lose not only my gratitude for life, but my ability to rise above situations I deem difficult. From the moment I wake up, I’m surrounded by convenience: blackout curtains, a voice-activated assistant, hot water on demand. I could go an entire day without experiencing an ounce of discomfort. And that’s a problem. So, I surround myself with things I hate doing all the time.
Why?
Here’s something you should know about your brain:
Your anterior midcingulate cortex (aMCC) is the part of your brain responsible for resilience, discipline, and grit. When you override hesitation and push through discomfort, you strengthen it. A strong aMCC means you don’t fold under pressure. A weak one? You crumble at the first sign of resistance.
And that’s exactly why I do shit I don’t want to do every morning. The meditation and journal are much more difficult for me to do these days than the shower, actually. At first, I could barely stand the water for five seconds. Then, something clicked.
I stopped thinking of the water as "cold." I stood under the water and examined what I was sensing and feeling. The sensation wasn’t painful, it was just cold water on my skin. But my brain was telling me it was pain because it recognized this cold stuff, and cold isn’t good for our body and must be avoided, the same way it would scream at me to get away from something hot if I touch it. But my mind doesn’t know what my body is capable of. I know what my body is capable of because it’s the same one used by people who set records swimming in the arctic without wetsuits. My body wasn’t suffering, my brain was just experiencing a sensation it didn’t fully understand.
But can’t you see that your body, your brain, and your choices are separate things? My body will shut down on its own, but my brain will always step in and start yelling at me to stop things that are difficult or painful, but who is YOU in that equation? Your choices. You as a human are not your body or even thoughts, you are a collection of your choices.
That shift in perspective changed everything. And once I realized I could choose my reaction, I started applying it everywhere in my life. Now, there is nothing difficult. There is nothing I don't want to do; it’s all work and effort and I love it all because I see my work and effort is serving my purpose.
How does courage play into this? If you want to put yourself into uncomfortable or difficult situations easily without it bothering you, train to get used to it.
Want to Build Resilience Today? Start Here.
Look, I don’t care if you take cold showers. That’s not the point. My purposeful discomfort is tough workouts and cold showers. Yours might be reading a book, a walk outside, or answering a phone call.
The point is this: Every time you avoid discomfort, you kill your ability to handle real challenges.
You and I have two options in life:
Stay comfortable. Stay weak. Keep wondering why nothing changes.
Push beyond imaginary fears that discomfort is bad. Cultivate resilience. Become great.
And since this is The Honesty Experiment, I’ve got one more admission: Part of my commitment this year was to start posting body progress photos as proof of what radical self-honesty and consistent effort can do. I’ve dragged my feet on that for weeks. Why? Ego. Insecurity. Fear. But courage, remember, is about restraint and action.
So I’m done hesitating. I’ll post the photos tomorrow. Not because I want praise, but because I want to model what it looks like to live the principles I preach.
If you're sick of being the person who makes excuses instead of moves, let’s talk.
